Trans men dating: be seen as yourself
Your interests, humour and hopes deserve room in your dating life.
Butterfly welcomes trans men and people who want to date them. Whether you are looking for a relationship or getting back into meeting people, introduce yourself in your own words and look for someone whose intentions fit yours.
If you searched for FTM dating, you are welcome here too. Some men use FTM to describe their experience; others prefer trans man or simply man. Your own description belongs to you.
A profile that gives you room to be you
Choose your words
Butterfly lets you customise your displayed gender description, symbol and default profile image. Choose the gender and sexuality options that fit you, and update them when you want.
Explore profile choicesChoose what you share
Photos are optional, profiles use first names and no social-media connection is required. Start talking on Butterfly before deciding whether to share personal contact details.
Explore privacy controlsMeet people whose preferences fit yours
Trans men can be straight, gay, bisexual or describe their sexuality in other ways. Choose whom you want to meet without assuming that another trans person shares your orientation or relationship goals.
Butterfly’s two-way search takes both members’ gender requirements into account. You can search by location, age and gender preferences, then read profiles to find shared interests. Send a Flutter using the butterfly icon when someone catches your eye.
See how Butterfly works or learn about chat and private messaging. Joining is free; unlimited one-to-one messaging requires an upgrade.
Dating a trans man? Start with him
Ask about something he has chosen to put in his profile: a hobby, a favourite place or what he hopes to find. Use his name and pronouns. His trans identity does not tell you his anatomy, medical history or preferences around intimacy.
There is no need to turn an introduction into an interview about transition. If a relationship develops, talk together about comfort and boundaries when it is relevant and welcome. Let him describe his own experience.
Privacy and being valued can go together
You choose when to share personal information. A good connection makes room for that choice and for an honest conversation about what each of you wants. Discuss what discretion means to both of you rather than guessing.
If someone repeatedly ignores a boundary, pressures you for intimate pictures or treats your identity as the only interesting thing about you, you can end the conversation. Butterfly’s block and report tools are there to use. Our guide to chasers and fetishisation explores these experiences without treating attraction to trans people as a problem.
Make the first conversation easy to answer
Try a question linked to an interest: “You mentioned hiking—what is your favourite route?” Share a little about yourself too. Leave space for a reply and let mutual interest set the pace.
Before a first date, agree on a comfortable public place and arrange your own travel. Explore our dating safety guide for practical steps.